If you are wondering how to get your ex to propose or commit, start with a grounded question: do both of you want the same future? A proposal needs voluntary, informed agreement. No spiritual practice, conversation, or strategy can make another person ready.
Get your ex to propose or commit: the direct answer
When people search for get your ex to propose or commit, they usually need clarity about consent, timing, safety, cost and the practical steps that remain within their control.
However, you can create space for an honest discussion about commitment. You can also decide what you need in order to feel secure and respected.
Clarify what commitment means to you: get your ex to propose or commit
Commitment can mean exclusivity, shared plans, cohabitation, marriage, or a proposal. Before you raise the subject, name the outcome you want and the reasons it matters to you.
Next, think about your practical hopes. You may care about family, money, religion, housing, or timing. Clear thinking helps you avoid turning one conversation into a test of love.
Have a direct, calm conversation
Choose a private time when neither of you feels rushed or upset. Explain your feelings without blaming your ex. For example, say that you value the relationship and want to understand whether you share a direction.
Then listen carefully to the answer. Ask open questions about concerns, hopes, and what each of you needs before taking a larger step. Do not pressure someone for a promise they cannot give freely.
Look at actions as well as words
Healthy commitment becomes visible in everyday choices. It may include reliable communication, mutual effort, accountability after conflict, and willingness to plan together.
- Do you both make time for the relationship?
- Can you discuss difficult topics respectfully?
- Do plans match the words being spoken?
- Do you feel safe expressing a need or boundary?
- Are both people free to say yes, no, or not yet?
First, notice patterns over time. Next, discuss any mismatch between promises and actions. Finally, decide whether the relationship meets your needs now, not only in an imagined future.
Respect a different answer: get your ex to propose or commit
Your ex may want a different timeline, or they may not want marriage. That answer can hurt, yet it gives you useful information. Trying to change someone’s values through pressure, fear, or manipulation usually damages trust.
You can state your own boundary with kindness. For instance, you might say that marriage is important to you and that you need a partner who can work toward it. A boundary describes your choice; it does not control theirs.
Spiritual reflection and practical support
Prayer, meditation, journalling, or cultural spiritual practice can help you reflect on your feelings. Use them to strengthen self-awareness, patience, and compassion. They cannot guarantee a proposal or override another person’s choice.
Couples counselling can also help when both people want support with communication or future planning. A qualified therapist offers a structured space for difficult conversations. Our guide to love spells for married couples focuses on renewing a long relationship.
Commitment conversations that do not become ultimatums
The most common mistake is leaving the question unspoken for years and then raising it as a demand. Talk about what commitment means to each of you early and plainly: living together, marriage, children, where you want to live. If your answers differ, you need to know, and it is better to find out while there is still room to adjust.
Ask about their hesitation rather than arguing with it. Money worries, a parent’s divorce or a previous engagement that ended badly all show up as “I am not ready”. Those are things you can work through together.
Signs they are moving toward commitment: get your ex to propose or commit
- They include you in plans more than a few months ahead.
- They introduce you to family and close friends.
- However, they talk about money and living arrangements openly.
How Baba Ali helps
His commitment ritual is meant for a relationship where love is already there but the step forward keeps stalling. It is not designed to push someone into a marriage they do not want, and he will say so if that is what the situation looks like. Clients in Australia can read about consultation times and privacy.
Why commitment stalls
When one partner is ready to commit and the other is not, it is easy to assume the hesitant partner does not love enough. That is rarely the whole story. Commitment stalls for many reasons, and understanding which one applies is the first step toward moving forward.
- Fear of repeating the past. A parent’s divorce, a previous engagement that ended badly, or a painful earlier relationship can make commitment feel dangerous.
- Money worries. Weddings, houses and children are expensive. Some people will not commit until they feel financially secure.
- Different timelines. One person wants to marry at 28; the other assumed 35. Neither is wrong, but the gap creates tension.
- Uncertainty about the relationship. Sometimes the hesitation reflects real doubts that deserve attention.
- Different views of marriage. Some people do not see marriage as necessary, or have different religious or cultural expectations.
- Life stage. Study, career changes or family responsibilities can make someone want to wait.
Asking, calmly and without pressure, which of these applies can change the conversation from a stand-off into a shared problem to solve.
The conversation that helps most: get your ex to propose or commit
Many couples avoid talking directly about commitment for years, then have one explosive argument about it. A calmer approach works better. Choose a relaxed moment and ask open questions: “How do you picture our future?” “What does marriage mean to you?” “Is there anything that worries you about taking the next step?” Listen carefully to the answers.
Share your own view honestly too, including what you hope for and why. Avoid ultimatums in the first conversation. The goal is understanding, not a decision on the spot. Often, simply hearing each other clearly relieves a lot of pressure, and shows that the hesitation is about something specific that can be worked through.
If the relationship ended over commitment
Many breakups happen because one partner wanted to move forward and the other did not. If that is your story, and you want to reconnect, it helps to understand whether anything has changed. Has your ex had time to reflect? Have their circumstances changed? Have yours? A reunion that returns to the same stand-off will likely end the same way. Our guide to reconnecting with an ex spiritually explains the respectful way to do this.
If you reconnect, talk about commitment early and honestly, rather than hoping it will resolve itself. Agree on a rough shared picture of the future before investing years in the relationship again.
When to wait and when to walk away
Patience is often the right response to a partner who is hesitant but moving forward. Signs that waiting may be worthwhile include a partner who talks openly about the future, takes practical steps such as saving together or meeting family, and can name specific concerns that are being addressed.
Sometimes, though, waiting becomes a way of avoiding a hard truth. If years have passed, your partner will not discuss the future, or you have fundamentally different views about marriage or children, it may be time to consider whether this relationship can give you what you need. Leaving a loving relationship because you want different lives is painful, but it can be the most self-respecting choice.
Building security that makes commitment easier: get your ex to propose or commit
People commit more readily when they feel secure. Some things that tend to build that security:
- Consistency. Being reliable, week after week, in small things as well as big ones.
- Emotional safety. Handling disagreements without contempt, threats or silent treatment.
- Financial openness. Talking honestly about money, debt and goals.
- Integration. Knowing each other’s friends and families, and being included in each other’s lives.
- Shared plans. Holidays, projects and goals that assume a future together.
None of these are tactics to trick someone into proposing. They are the ordinary ingredients of a secure relationship, and a partner who feels secure is far more likely to want to make it permanent.
What not to do
- Do not issue ultimatums in anger. They tend to produce either resentful agreement or a breakup.
- Do not compare your relationship to others. “Everyone else our age is married” adds pressure without helping.
- Do not try to trap someone, for example with an unplanned pregnancy or a joint financial commitment they did not agree to.
- Do not use spiritual work to force it. Baba Ali will not do work intended to override anyone’s choice, and commitment obtained that way would not be real.
How spiritual work fits
Baba Ali’s commitment ritual is meant for relationships where love is clearly present but the next step keeps stalling. It focuses on easing fear, strengthening the bond and creating the conditions in which both people feel ready to move forward. It is not meant to push someone into a marriage they do not want, and he will tell you honestly if that is what the situation looks like.
He will ask how long you have been together, what has been said about the future, what the hesitation seems to be about, and whether there is any history of fear or harm. For couples who are already committed and want to mark it spiritually, a love binding ritual may suit better. Pricing is for ritual materials only, quoted before preparation starts. He reports that many clients see first signs within 3–7 days, such as more open conversations about the future; timing varies with each situation.
Commitment across cultures and faiths: get your ex to propose or commit
Different cultures and faiths hold different views of commitment and marriage. For some couples, marriage is essential and must follow particular rites; for others, a long-term partnership without marriage feels equally committed. Family expectations may add pressure in either direction. If you and your partner come from different backgrounds, talk openly about what commitment means to each of you, and how you will honour both families’ expectations. Commitment that respects both people’s values is much stronger than one that forces one person to abandon theirs.
Commitment in Australia and the UK
In both Australia and the UK, many couples live together for years before marrying, and de facto relationships carry legal recognition. That can make the question of marriage feel less urgent to one partner and more important to the other. Understanding the legal differences between marriage and de facto relationships where you live can help ground the conversation in practical terms, alongside the emotional ones. A family lawyer or legal information service can explain them.
Three illustrative situations
These examples show how commitment problems vary. They are not individual client stories.
The fearful partner: get your ex to propose or commit
A woman has been with her boyfriend for six years. He loves her but freezes whenever marriage comes up. After a calm conversation, he admits his parents’ bitter divorce left him terrified of weddings. Counselling helps him separate his parents’ story from his own. Two years later, they marry quietly. Here, the key was understanding the fear rather than pushing against it.
The different timelines
A couple in their late twenties disagree: she wants to marry within a year, he wants to wait until his career is settled. They agree a shared timeline, with marriage in three years and a clear savings plan, and the pressure eases. Both feel heard.
The relationship that ended over commitment
A man broke up with his partner after five years because she would not commit. A year later, she reaches out, saying she has thought a lot about what she wants. Before reconciling, they talk openly about marriage and children and find their views now align. They agree to take it slowly this time, with clear conversations about the future from the start.
Frequently asked questions: get your ex to propose or commit
How long should I wait for a proposal?
There is no right answer. What matters is whether your partner is moving toward commitment, talking openly about it, and whether the waiting is costing you more than you are willing to give.
Should I propose myself?
Many people do, and many relationships welcome it. If you have discussed marriage and know your partner is open to it, there is no reason to wait for them.
Can a ritual make my partner propose?: get your ex to propose or commit
No ritual can override someone’s choice. The commitment ritual works to ease fear and strengthen the bond, so that a partner who already loves you feels ready to move forward.
What if my partner never wants to marry?
Some people do not believe in marriage but are deeply committed. If marriage matters to you, you will need to decide whether a committed partnership without it can meet your needs.
Is it wrong to give an ultimatum?
A calm, honest statement of your needs and a timeframe is not the same as a threat made in anger. If you genuinely need commitment by a certain point, it is fair to say so, as long as you are prepared to act on it.
Looking after yourself while you wait: get your ex to propose or commit
Waiting for commitment can be exhausting and lonely. Keep your own life full: your friendships, your work, your health and your interests. Avoid measuring every week by whether your partner has moved forward. Talk to a friend or counsellor about how you feel. If the waiting has made you anxious or low, reach out for support. In Australia, Lifeline answers on 13 11 14; in the UK, Samaritans answer on 116 123.
Signs your partner is moving toward commitment
- They talk about the future using “we” rather than “I”.
- They include you in long-term decisions, such as where to live or career moves.
- In addition, they introduce you to extended family and involve you in family events.
- They are willing to talk about marriage, children and money without changing the subject.
- They make practical plans with you: saving together, buying things for a shared home.
- For example, they reassure you when you feel uncertain, rather than becoming defensive.
If you see several of these, your partner is probably moving toward commitment at their own pace. Patience, combined with honest conversation, is often rewarded.
Signs the relationship may not lead to commitment
- They avoid all talk of the future, year after year.
- They keep major parts of their life separate from you.
- Therefore, they have told you directly that they do not see a long-term future.
- Your core values about marriage or children are fundamentally different.
- You feel more anxious and less secure the longer you are together.
These signs do not always mean the relationship must end, but they deserve serious attention. A counsellor can help you think them through.
Rituals and traditions around commitment: get your ex to propose or commit
Across the world, commitment is marked with ritual: exchanging rings, tying hands or cords, sharing food, breaking glass, jumping the broom, exchanging gifts between families. In West African traditions, marriage often involves ceremonies that bring the two families together, gifts exchanged as a sign of respect, and prayers for the couple’s future. These rituals mark a transition that both people and their communities recognise.
Even before formal commitment, some couples find meaning in small rituals of their own: a promise made on a meaningful day, a shared prayer, a ring worn as a sign of intention. These can help a relationship feel more secure while bigger decisions are still being worked out.
After the commitment
Engagement or marriage is not the end of the work. Couples who stay happy tend to keep investing in the relationship: time together, honest conversation, shared goals and regular expressions of appreciation. If your relationship went through a difficult period of uncertainty before commitment, it can help to talk about what you learned, so that you both feel secure going forward. Some couples mark the new chapter spiritually, with a blessing or a binding ritual, as a way of honouring the promise they have made.
Talking about commitment without pressure: sample conversations
People often know they should talk about the future but freeze when it comes to the actual words. These examples show a calm, low-pressure approach.
Opening the topic: get your ex to propose or commit
“I have been thinking about where we are headed. I am really happy with us, and I would love to hear how you see our future. No pressure to have all the answers.”
Asking about hesitation
“I have noticed marriage is a hard topic for you. I am not trying to push. Meanwhile, i would just like to understand what makes it difficult, if you are comfortable sharing.”
Sharing your needs
“Marriage matters to me, and I would like it to be part of our future. I understand you might need more time. Could we talk about what a realistic timeline might look like?”
After a breakup over commitment: get your ex to propose or commit
“I have thought a lot about why we ended. I understand now how much pressure you felt, and I also know what I need. If we ever tried again, I would want us to talk about the future honestly from the start.”
Adapt these to your own voice. The key elements are warmth, honesty about your own feelings, curiosity about theirs, and freedom from threats.
Working with Baba Ali
If you would like to talk about a relationship where commitment has stalled, Baba Ali takes messages 24/7. He will listen, ask about your situation, and tell you honestly whether he thinks spiritual work, practical steps, or simply time would help most. Clients in Australia can read about consultation hours and privacy. For more on the specific ritual, see the commitment ritual page.
Commitment after a reunion
Couples who reconcile after a breakup sometimes rush into commitment, eager to prove the relationship is back for good. A quick engagement can feel reassuring, but it can also skip the rebuilding that makes a second chance last. Other couples swing the other way, avoiding any talk of the future for fear of breaking something fragile. Neither extreme tends to serve the relationship well.
A steadier path is to rebuild trust first, then talk about commitment openly once the relationship feels secure again. That might take months. If the breakup was about commitment in the first place, talk about it early and honestly, so that you do not end up back in the same stand-off. The goal is a commitment that both people make freely, from a secure place, not one made in a rush of relief or out of fear.
Protecting your self-worth: get your ex to propose or commit
Waiting for someone to commit can quietly wear down your sense of worth. You may start to wonder whether you are enough, or twist yourself into shapes you hope will be more acceptable. Watch for this. Your value does not depend on whether someone proposes. Keep investing in the parts of your life that make you feel capable and loved: friendships, work, family, faith, health. A person with a strong sense of self is more attractive as a partner, and better able to make clear decisions about whether a relationship is meeting their needs.
A reflection exercise for both partners
If you and your partner are both willing, try this together. Each of you writes, separately, a short description of your life together five years from now: where you live, what you do, whether you are married, whether there are children, how you spend your weekends. Then swap and read each other’s descriptions.
Notice where your pictures overlap and where they differ. Overlaps are the foundation you can build on. Differences are the conversations you need to have. Many couples find this exercise far easier than a direct conversation about marriage, because it shifts the focus from pressure to shared imagination. It often reveals that the gap between you is smaller, or at least clearer, than it seemed.
A final thought
Commitment grows best in a relationship where both people feel safe, valued and free. Pressure rarely produces it; understanding, patience and honest conversation usually do. If your partner loves you and simply needs time or reassurance, those qualities will help them get there. If they do not share your vision, those same qualities will help you see it clearly and decide what is right for you. Either way, you deserve a relationship in which your hopes for the future are welcomed rather than feared.
Whatever stage you are at, take it one honest conversation at a time. Commitment built on understanding lasts far longer than commitment won through pressure, and it is worth the patience it takes. If you think of your ex as a twin flame, read our guide to twin flame separation.
When you are ready to talk it through, Baba Ali is available at any hour, with no obligation.
Your hopes for the future matter. Honour them, and honour your partner’s too, as you work out a path you can both walk with confidence.
Take your time, and be kind to each other.
Frequently asked questions: get your ex to propose or commit
Can I make my ex commit if they are unsure?
No. Commitment must be freely chosen. You can communicate clearly and decide what you need, but you cannot make another person choose a future they do not want.
How long should I wait for a proposal?
There is no universal timeline. Discuss your needs openly, agree on realistic next steps if you both want them, and reassess if the relationship remains uncertain.
Where can I learn more about healthy relationships?
See NHS mental health guidance for general wellbeing support. You can also read How It Works for information about private spiritual guidance and its limits.